The One..

The one that I want to wake up with everyday,
The one whos giggle makes me warm inside,
The one who knows exactly what 'you know what I mean' means,
The one that makes me smile for no reason,
The one that laughs at my blonde moments,
The one that just by being in the room makes me unbelievably happy,
The one where when he's gone, the worlds gone cold,
The one I miss after seconds of being apart,
The one that loves me for being me,
The one that I can be completely myself around,
The one that I want to spend my life with,
The one that wants to be with me as much as I, them.

too excited!

12th post. It's definitely for something special. I'll always look on this page and realise this post is that post. The one post, the day after my life had completely changed for the good. I really want to write it, but I can't and will be told off for writing it anywhere public until the following weekend. I want to tell people, but I can't.
I'm so excited.
I'm so happy!
Just oh my god!


I love you Christopher James!

11 posts.

So far this year, each month i've written 11 posts. I'm starting to feel like i'm restricted to only 11 posts. Or that i'll be a disappointment if I don't get the 11 posts. Even if that means I have to write pointless posts like this to explain the situation.
I hope I can get back to some decent posting next month! (thanks to all that read my posts!)

what do i do?

What do you do? When you can feel something.. something that's beyond your control. Something that is actually your fault. Something that actually scares the s**t out of you, and you don't know what to do?.. who to talk to?
What the f**k do you do?

'Cos i need to know. I'm scared and don't know what to do about it. I'm so stupid.

because i'm going to be immature.

i'll be immature and play the same game. I really don't want to do this like this. But fair does it.
Look, you asked me to be honest.
I was honest.
I said something you didn't like. (btw you do this all the time).
So technically, if anything it should even us up.
I told you how i felt because you simply asked. I'm sorry if the truth wasn't something you wanted to hear.

Just stop the posting now yeah?

that's the reason for a notebook..

I thought of two posts to write last night, just before I fell asleep. They were going to be very pleasant. I’m not sure what they were, now, as I sit here. Then I think, that’s exactly what I brought my notebook for, I guess, I simply couldn’t be bothered to scribble them down. Step out of bed. Into the cold, just to write two little things down. I do get annoyed with myself. I always think I’ll remember them as I repeat them in my head several time at the time, then I sleep. Wake up. And I’ve forgotten. I must change that, maybe I’ll move my notebook next to my bed, with a pen.. yes, a pen would be a start. I’ll do that next time.

quote-age.

"Words don't explain emotions properly"


FACT.

wow..

..now i know who i can't clearly trust anymore! thanks for that.

today..

is my mums and step-dads wedding anniversary :)
they've been married 14 years, and I think it's amazing - you can tell they love one another.
*raise imaginary glass up* to 14 more!

long time no speak

There become times when you're close, then not so close. Changes. No-one likes changes, unless it's going to be for the best, or seeming that way at least..
I haven't spoken to you in a long time. It seems hard work to talk to you, I wonder what I can share with you, because you share nothing with me. I thought we were close? Suppose it's all changing.
I wonder if it's me that's changed, but actually it's you. I feel the same, do the same as I always did. Just you judge and shout before you really know. I'm sorry, but the world don't evolve around you, other people have the right to do their own things, in their life. I ask for a friend, I want a friend not a lecturer. That's the role you seem to want to play in people's life.

A Life Of Changes

We all have a different perception to what 'the perfect relationship' is. Even being in the perfect relationship, we should still question our feelings, the love between you and the other person. It's just to make sure things are stable for certain, see if it really could work, rather than a life of dreaming and hoping. Why should you come out of the dream?

I know it's probably what I should do, I should be questioning if this is really right, but i'm not. It feels so right, to be like this. I don't think i've felt this way about anyone else, I know how I feel, and I know we do have the perfect relationship.

When you're single, the things that you think of, never normally come true, yet here and now, it's all happening. It's like the dream you dreamt up when you were 8, and at the age of reading about Prince Charming. Only this isn't a dream. It's the person who wants to be with you, as much as you do them.

It all changes very quickly, your life changes quicker than you ever imagine, yet it seems a normal pace, but you know it's not. Yet, you don't seem to bothered by this. This, afterall the person you want to be with, the person I want to be with. It's all still like a dream, like the stories of the other half, your soulmate, the perfect setting, the connection.. I like to think I have that.

My life is changing, it's forever changing. It won't stop, there is nothing you or I can do about it. You'll know when it's right for you. You can plan the changes, knowing it's what you want to do. I know it's going to carry on, but i'm looking forward to seeing where it'll take me, hopefully all the way.. with you.

yahoo email..

My Personal Email;
I have a new address for personal emails.. My hotmail one works and is fine, but it's more of a junk inbox, if you want to catch me quick, you'd be better to catch me on my yahoo :)

email : beyondthedreams@ymail.com

love you all! x

I find it strange..

..I'm not sure if it's me that's strange, or other people.
I just end up thinking 'Ok.. that's weird.. I couldn't do that myself, what's the point in that?'

I don't see how you can be ok with distance when you're in love. Yes, you try and carry on, but nothing feels right. I know people who admit to not seeing their partners for three weeks at a time, and that they're in love. Also, they live up the road.. I don't understand it. If you love someone, surely you want to be with them? Every moment is hard to carry on, like you're empty. Your thought processes are slower and feel lost.

Is this just me? Maybe it is, maybe it's not.