Q

"Crying is not a weakness... It means you've been strong for too long"

Ramblings

So, you always wonder if you're the one that's got it worse. Sometimes you do, sometimes we manage to be overdramatic.
I've had a real good time recently! I had all my best mates over last night.. and it was amazing, I've never enjoyed myself so much. 'Esp having one on one conversation with them closest people.. It's funny how, even though you had loads to drink, how much you remember. I wouldn't had changed a single thing..
I always wanna save people and make everything right... and I can't always do that, but it's so surprising how many other people have the same thoughts and feelings as yourself. I want everyone to feel happy, like I am.. :-)
as in the words of bobby 'Imma gunna stop rambling right now, 'cos I know I am...'

that awkward moment when you know you actually mean nothing.

I tell ya what.. (swearing is involved!)

Some parents really piss me off these days! Both my real dad and my mother-in-law have got this same thing going where they can't seem to see, and or admit they've failed their children. I mean they've been trying to guilt trap people into feeling sorry for them, or simply trying to guilt them into getting their own way.. I thought being a parent was about responsibility?! About loving and protecting your children, but at the same time allowing their Independence to grow?.. Making them make their own mistakes.. instead of lecturing them? so what's this moaning and constant going on about their own lives, trying to shift their problem and responsibility on anyone but themselves!?
It's really bloody annoying at the moment, just face it, you're shit parents! Or actually go learn to be a parent!!

Hoping for a happy ending!

..or not, but it'll be happy for the two of us, in the end.
I'm finally feeling so relieved and, actually happy, 'cos for once i've said what i've needed to say for a long time. It feels good! Ok, so it ended up being an argument.. I got my point across, but that's always the best outcome.
It'll end up with her getting back in contact, which will upset my husband 'cos she's intimidating. But we're gunna fight it together and that witch can't make us suffer no more. Oh happy days... now the question is, what else can I replace the drama with?....

Just a little truth

I eat when I'm stressed or unhappy. You'd think I was either very stressed or very unhappy if you ever looked at me. At the moment I eat alot.
Some call it comfort eat.
Fair enough, I comfort eat alot at the moment.

I know it sounds like an old record

I feel really sick to my stomach at the moment. I know I shouldn't 'cos I'm not guilty. But, I actually just feel so stressed at this moment in time, knowing whats to come. I don't know how you're meant to deal with a person who's threatened to take you to court over your child, my perfect 11 week old child. My happy little boy, that I love so much with every millimetre of my body.. It seems crazy, how now, I've, ME, got to come up with an arrangement where she can come to my house and see him. Touch him, hold him and be near him.
I don't want her to have anything to do with him, ever. Does that make me a bad person? A bad mother? Is it a bad thing to want to protect my child against, what I see is harm. A person who is set on destroying my family, spreading lies, getting people to ring my home and have a go at me, calling me everything under the sun, accusing me over and over again about things that I've never done, nor dreamt of doing so.
I've just had enough of the arguments, of the dissing, and the constant battle.. why can't I be left alone with my family to look after my baby, and home? It's getting pathetic, we've been together a year and half.. surely it must be boring to keep talking about the same subject? So, no I don't feel like talking to you, nor sorting stuff out, cos it'll never stop. I want it to, but I know what the evil womans like. I've just had enough.

A day for celebrating..

So today, on our calendar, it has become apparent that both me and chris have been together a year and a half! Ok, most people don't celebrate the half bit, but.. any excuse eh?
But 'tis a very happy day!

Just was ruined by mother in law coming back on the scene. Saying 'Hi Immy, I think we need to have a talk' - yeah.. ok, we'll see if you're capable of that. So yeah that shall be highly annoying and boring when the time comes.
Hey-ho! It's our wedding anniversary in 4 months, hip hip!

My baby boy

I got some gorgeous photo's done professionally last week, and I got them this week, and they're so cute. Really bring out the colours in his eyes :)
Well to be honest I've been taking pics of him loads recently. I mean, we all say how quick they grow.. but don't think you *really* understand it, till you see it. He's grown so much over the last two weeks! Makes sense why he's been eating constantly.. But he's so darn cute. Lots of love!!

(btw he's 10 wks in these pictures!)

I have to say..

That I am well impressed with Karma, right now!
Y'see this guy that I actually fell in love with back in college, has recently began moaning about this woman that he fancies, doesn't back. Yeah I spoke to him about it and all the time I couldn't help thinking that you never thought of me when I was in your position. But everyone said he'd get what would come to him in the end. It appears it has..
Only thing I can say is, Good luck trying to love someone who doesn't back, 'cos damn right it never gets easier!

But I'm not horrible to enjoy his pain. 'Cos I know exactly how much it hurts and goes round in your head, practically destroying you. But like I say, you never was bothered when I was the same. Karma eh? Proof it does exist.

I know this sounds crazy but,

Freddie actually just said Hello.
He's currently at my mums and apparently he's been trying to talk nonstop - he has always been a noisy bugger! But mum's been repeating hello, and on the phone I heard him say it.. it's more like 'ello.. but I was like OMG! He's only 10 weeks, nearly 11.. and he can already say hello. What a clever little man!
Feeling quite the proud mother atm.
:)

A trip back in time

I never realised that I've had my blog for over 2 yrs now, i'm actually amazed, yet happy. I've really enjoyed blogging over that time and well I do wish to continue. It's strange that some of the things I said back then applies for now. Especially the way I feel about Chris. He was the one back then and still is now, even through all the drama's we've had along the way, but it changes nothing. I'd still be lost without him..
I also never got that my writing was pretty decent in some ways, although bugger me, don't think I could write anything like it now. but things come and go, and it's nice to sometimes look back on what means alot to you, personally.

Aww, now I've a smile on my face!

My husband has just made my day.
He said that I'm his best friend!
And that he'll take me to see the new Transformers film!

Oh and one of my girlies says she likes my new and improved page - smiles all round!

Don't you just love it when you've been protrayed as the biggest bitch ever?