..indeed I do.
I'm thinking of a new project - it'll be video based. I'm thinking i'll ask people the question of the day and record them, thinking, and speaking their view. I will do this for at least a month, just to be curious.. we'll see where it may be taken.
Thursday, 25 February 2010
A list of my favourite songs #2
..cont.
Always - Bon Jovi
Love Story - Taylor Swift
Vanilla Twilight - Owl City
Invincible - Muse
25Feb.
Always - Bon Jovi
Love Story - Taylor Swift
Vanilla Twilight - Owl City
Invincible - Muse
25Feb.
Wednesday, 24 February 2010
everything changes..
It was an ordinary night, I with the girls, drinking. I was sat in my friends room drinking and giggling about nothing; a normal time with the girls then. Only a couple of weeks before, I was probably one of the most miserable people on this planet. I was feeling lost. I was heartbroken, and had been for the last two years previous, yet, tonight was about finally getting mended and starting a new year, on a fresh slate. I never intended on finding anyone that night, in all, if anyone had told me that I could’ve, I honestly think I’d have stayed cleared. I was still fragile.
I was laughing about nothing, throwing things around and taking pointless pictures of my friends. I actually felt happy again and had a spark of hope in my heart. It was all going to be alright, I don’t need to worry anymore, I will find my way again. Although this night was working out just nicely, it took a lot of encouragement to get to this stage.
Two of us didn’t really want to go, but after some nagging and realising, it might not be so bad after all, we gave up and decided to tag along.
There was one name that stood out to me before I knew there was a party, and it was his name. I laughed and joked with the girls about this name, because it was unusual and I’m a sucker for anything slightly unusual, I just find it interesting and mysterious.
I was in the party mood after a couple of drinks and hours of mucking around, so I started getting ready, dancing in front of the mirror and singing badly out loud. For the first time, in a long time, I didn’t care about anything; I just wanted to have a good time.
Before leaving the house we all wrote a list of things we wanted to complete by the end of 2010. I remember this so clearly because, all three of us were in silent, and began being really serious about it. It was hard to think of things, but I remember the first one ‘completely get over Josh’ – this was my main goal. Although I felt on the way of being over him, I knew it wasn’t right to feel the way I did about him anymore. I ideally wanted to be single and happy, but not everything works the way you plan.
I was going to a house party with two of my best friends. Nothing could be more fun really, we’re all fairly confident and a bundle of giggles when we’re together, so it was going to be a great night wherever we were. Arriving was no problems; I had been drinking and was feeling hyper and silly, so the perfect beginning. I know when I’ve been drinking I don’t get shy; I just talk, and lots of it, to whoever.
So topping up drinks and taking shots was comfortable. I and a friend sat chatting whilst watching the others play card games, we were just being silly and talking about nonsense, like we often do. I remember standing in the kitchen trying some new drinks out and by that time feeling rather tipsy, but it was all still fun.
Then he came in and was talking about a drunken night with my friend in a club, I found it was a funny tale, but mostly the way he was saying it. He was a character, I already figured that one out, and he was friendly and genuine. Yes, this sudden interest in what he was doing and saying surprised me. I then turned round to my friend and asked her what his name was and she said the word I was hoping for (in a strange way).
‘Goose’.
I couldn’t help but smile when this word slipped from her lips, I had instantly found him interesting, remembering all the jokes I shared about him with my friends, I felt guilty for the mocking, but it made me feel automatically closer to him, as if I’ve already known him.
The rest of the night carried on, I sang and danced without a care in the world and it felt great. I never really thought more of him that night, I was thinking about my friend, who was getting very drunk at the time. I decided I would be the one to look after her and care about what she’s doing. She was a handful, but I love her so I would do what’s right by her, besides I was still having fun!
It came to midnight and we were all still dancing in the front room, didn’t do the massive countdown, everyone mainly was passing out and doing their own thing. I remember everyone piling out the room to watch the fireworks in the garden, I stood with a friend and we started talking and he joined in. I couldn’t help but secretly look at him. He seemed really nice. He began waffling about the different parts of the area, nothing actually interesting, but he made it interesting by the way he spoke of it.
I decided I needed to get a grip; I’m hardly in a state to start thinking like that about someone. So I left it, I didn’t really speak to him, yet I couldn’t help but feel curious about him, the way he laughed and spoke to others. There was something about him, but what was it?
I went home with the girls and we laughed, walked a few miles but got home perfectly fine, I was completely sober and I really enjoyed the evening and didn’t really want it to end, but it was going to have to.
The next day I went home and logged online as normal. I instantly got ambushed by my friend asking what I thought of him. I was surprised, and curious as to why she was interested in what I thought of him. Naturally I went ‘I don’t know him but he seemed a decent guy’. What else did she expect me to say? That I found him interesting and has a face of a thousand unheard of tales that I wanted to know, that he was one person I had found recently who could hold a decent conversation, oh and that I actually really liked him from that first few moments?
No, that would just be stupid to admit to.
Then came the real unexpected ‘He told Dave that he likes you, like, like, likes you’. Stupidly I was like ‘What, as in like like?’ I never know why I replied with that, but I’m guessing it was because I wasn’t expecting her to say something like that. But I liked it. I liked it very much. I remember grinning and thinking, ‘but, how could he? He barely spoke to me, I never saw him look at me once! Why would he me? He was interesting, I’m not’ but, despite all that, I was glad. Someone actually liked me. Of course I never thought much more of it, or thought it would go any further than that. I didn’t even think I’d hear his name again.
But from that day on, it was the only name I got to hear. I got given his number and told to text him. ‘But I don’t know the guy’ I thought, ‘He’ll just think I’m weird if I randomly text him, or maybe a stalker that found his number out, or maybe he’d think I’d forced it out of my friend’. I just texted him in the end. He texted back very quickly, this was surprising. His texts were just as interesting as him in person. This I didn’t expect.
We texted all night from that moment, but he said he had to go to sleep as he had to get up early the next day. I found myself frowning to this, I found myself not wanting him to leave. I wanted to talk to him. He said he’d text again soon. I was already waiting.
He texted again, exactly like he said. All day I found myself waiting to hear from him. It was all bizarre, how can I find someone so interesting when I’ve met them once and barely spoke to them? ‘Am I crazy?’ I thought to myself, ‘Do I need to just get on with something? Get a life?’ But I wanted to hear from him nonetheless.
As soon as he texted, the world wasn’t anything to be interested in. I was talking to this stranger I barely know. I wanted to talk to him, so much. Yes, I am crazy aren’t I?
It continued for a whole week, and I was getting sucked in by him, he was the one making my day and hearing his voice made me sleepy, I just wanted to know things, anything, I wanted to figure him out, I wanted to be surprised by him, listen to the way he thinks. I enjoyed hearing from him and found that we even had things in common.
It was progressing very fast, and I never wanted him to leave. The first time I met him, I was so excited, just to see him alone this time. Ok, I was terribly nervous and worried that it might not go as well as we hoped, but it went really well. I grew attached to him very quickly and got used to having him around the place and found that everywhere felt empty when he left. I wanted him to come back and never leave. I still think that.
Everything kept speeding up, everything carried on into a whirlwind, the one that still stands.
My life had turned into a whirlwind. I now understand love again, I knew there was a reason I spoke of it in a positive way. I knew deep down it was still the best feeling anyone could experience, I just lost that judgement. I forgot how powerful it was, how perfect it could be, simply because I didn’t have it, until now. And hopefully, till the end.
I was laughing about nothing, throwing things around and taking pointless pictures of my friends. I actually felt happy again and had a spark of hope in my heart. It was all going to be alright, I don’t need to worry anymore, I will find my way again. Although this night was working out just nicely, it took a lot of encouragement to get to this stage.
Two of us didn’t really want to go, but after some nagging and realising, it might not be so bad after all, we gave up and decided to tag along.
There was one name that stood out to me before I knew there was a party, and it was his name. I laughed and joked with the girls about this name, because it was unusual and I’m a sucker for anything slightly unusual, I just find it interesting and mysterious.
I was in the party mood after a couple of drinks and hours of mucking around, so I started getting ready, dancing in front of the mirror and singing badly out loud. For the first time, in a long time, I didn’t care about anything; I just wanted to have a good time.
Before leaving the house we all wrote a list of things we wanted to complete by the end of 2010. I remember this so clearly because, all three of us were in silent, and began being really serious about it. It was hard to think of things, but I remember the first one ‘completely get over Josh’ – this was my main goal. Although I felt on the way of being over him, I knew it wasn’t right to feel the way I did about him anymore. I ideally wanted to be single and happy, but not everything works the way you plan.
I was going to a house party with two of my best friends. Nothing could be more fun really, we’re all fairly confident and a bundle of giggles when we’re together, so it was going to be a great night wherever we were. Arriving was no problems; I had been drinking and was feeling hyper and silly, so the perfect beginning. I know when I’ve been drinking I don’t get shy; I just talk, and lots of it, to whoever.
So topping up drinks and taking shots was comfortable. I and a friend sat chatting whilst watching the others play card games, we were just being silly and talking about nonsense, like we often do. I remember standing in the kitchen trying some new drinks out and by that time feeling rather tipsy, but it was all still fun.
Then he came in and was talking about a drunken night with my friend in a club, I found it was a funny tale, but mostly the way he was saying it. He was a character, I already figured that one out, and he was friendly and genuine. Yes, this sudden interest in what he was doing and saying surprised me. I then turned round to my friend and asked her what his name was and she said the word I was hoping for (in a strange way).
‘Goose’.
I couldn’t help but smile when this word slipped from her lips, I had instantly found him interesting, remembering all the jokes I shared about him with my friends, I felt guilty for the mocking, but it made me feel automatically closer to him, as if I’ve already known him.
The rest of the night carried on, I sang and danced without a care in the world and it felt great. I never really thought more of him that night, I was thinking about my friend, who was getting very drunk at the time. I decided I would be the one to look after her and care about what she’s doing. She was a handful, but I love her so I would do what’s right by her, besides I was still having fun!
It came to midnight and we were all still dancing in the front room, didn’t do the massive countdown, everyone mainly was passing out and doing their own thing. I remember everyone piling out the room to watch the fireworks in the garden, I stood with a friend and we started talking and he joined in. I couldn’t help but secretly look at him. He seemed really nice. He began waffling about the different parts of the area, nothing actually interesting, but he made it interesting by the way he spoke of it.
I decided I needed to get a grip; I’m hardly in a state to start thinking like that about someone. So I left it, I didn’t really speak to him, yet I couldn’t help but feel curious about him, the way he laughed and spoke to others. There was something about him, but what was it?
I went home with the girls and we laughed, walked a few miles but got home perfectly fine, I was completely sober and I really enjoyed the evening and didn’t really want it to end, but it was going to have to.
The next day I went home and logged online as normal. I instantly got ambushed by my friend asking what I thought of him. I was surprised, and curious as to why she was interested in what I thought of him. Naturally I went ‘I don’t know him but he seemed a decent guy’. What else did she expect me to say? That I found him interesting and has a face of a thousand unheard of tales that I wanted to know, that he was one person I had found recently who could hold a decent conversation, oh and that I actually really liked him from that first few moments?
No, that would just be stupid to admit to.
Then came the real unexpected ‘He told Dave that he likes you, like, like, likes you’. Stupidly I was like ‘What, as in like like?’ I never know why I replied with that, but I’m guessing it was because I wasn’t expecting her to say something like that. But I liked it. I liked it very much. I remember grinning and thinking, ‘but, how could he? He barely spoke to me, I never saw him look at me once! Why would he me? He was interesting, I’m not’ but, despite all that, I was glad. Someone actually liked me. Of course I never thought much more of it, or thought it would go any further than that. I didn’t even think I’d hear his name again.
But from that day on, it was the only name I got to hear. I got given his number and told to text him. ‘But I don’t know the guy’ I thought, ‘He’ll just think I’m weird if I randomly text him, or maybe a stalker that found his number out, or maybe he’d think I’d forced it out of my friend’. I just texted him in the end. He texted back very quickly, this was surprising. His texts were just as interesting as him in person. This I didn’t expect.
We texted all night from that moment, but he said he had to go to sleep as he had to get up early the next day. I found myself frowning to this, I found myself not wanting him to leave. I wanted to talk to him. He said he’d text again soon. I was already waiting.
He texted again, exactly like he said. All day I found myself waiting to hear from him. It was all bizarre, how can I find someone so interesting when I’ve met them once and barely spoke to them? ‘Am I crazy?’ I thought to myself, ‘Do I need to just get on with something? Get a life?’ But I wanted to hear from him nonetheless.
As soon as he texted, the world wasn’t anything to be interested in. I was talking to this stranger I barely know. I wanted to talk to him, so much. Yes, I am crazy aren’t I?
It continued for a whole week, and I was getting sucked in by him, he was the one making my day and hearing his voice made me sleepy, I just wanted to know things, anything, I wanted to figure him out, I wanted to be surprised by him, listen to the way he thinks. I enjoyed hearing from him and found that we even had things in common.
It was progressing very fast, and I never wanted him to leave. The first time I met him, I was so excited, just to see him alone this time. Ok, I was terribly nervous and worried that it might not go as well as we hoped, but it went really well. I grew attached to him very quickly and got used to having him around the place and found that everywhere felt empty when he left. I wanted him to come back and never leave. I still think that.
Everything kept speeding up, everything carried on into a whirlwind, the one that still stands.
My life had turned into a whirlwind. I now understand love again, I knew there was a reason I spoke of it in a positive way. I knew deep down it was still the best feeling anyone could experience, I just lost that judgement. I forgot how powerful it was, how perfect it could be, simply because I didn’t have it, until now. And hopefully, till the end.
Tuesday, 23 February 2010
Do you ever..?
Do you ever have days when you feel like you're in a dream? A dream where nothing makes complete sense, yet makes perfect sense? Like you know you're here, yet don't feel completely rooted as normal? As if you need to hit the ground and wake up..
I'm listening, but i'm not hearing the words, just the sounds, so, yes I need to wake up. There's nothing wrong, at all, just my mind has drifted to another place. A place where dreams, may come true.
When I wake from that dream i'll hit reality and know it's not possible to have all my dreams come true, but you learn that, some of your dreams already have, they're just treasures you hardly notice. But you'll come back down to earth again soon girl..
I'm listening, but i'm not hearing the words, just the sounds, so, yes I need to wake up. There's nothing wrong, at all, just my mind has drifted to another place. A place where dreams, may come true.
When I wake from that dream i'll hit reality and know it's not possible to have all my dreams come true, but you learn that, some of your dreams already have, they're just treasures you hardly notice. But you'll come back down to earth again soon girl..
Monday, 22 February 2010
kinda funny
I find it kinda funny how, it seems everyone reads my posts on blog, yet.. no-one ever comments on them... so if you read this, would you write something? you can do this, even if no account of a blog.. the drop down list provides options..
I just find it curious when people go 'i've read your blog..' and it's like... 'ok.. which post..?' as i do many random ones..
I just find it curious when people go 'i've read your blog..' and it's like... 'ok.. which post..?' as i do many random ones..
Thursday, 18 February 2010
..only you will understand this one..
I started a story, it began with the name ‘Too Good to be True’ and this was right. I still sometimes daydream of them easy days without any worries, but then, really, towards the end it did turn into a worry. So today, it doesn’t really matter about the date, but today, I read what I had started on that story, and it just didn’t seem right to carry on with it anymore. I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve abandoned it for a long time to pursue other writing, or that the story didn’t fit the same way it used to. None the less, I know I practically promised to write the story we once shared.
It’s not a good-bye and far from it, there is no time for a good-bye and no words really worthy of what we went through and the things that we learnt from one another. It was a beautiful friendship, and will always be one I couldn’t possibly forget in anyway shape or form, nor would I want to forget it. I loved you, and I still love you, and actually, honestly always will, I’m not scared to admit that, nor wanting to deny the fact that I do or will. I’m no longer scared to say it, or tell people. Ok, it might not be the same love as I spoke of only a few months ago, but I’m set free. Free in the sense, that I now know it was the wrong type of love, it wasn’t a good or healthy love. In fact, it actually made me miserable internally. It never was your intention, and most certainly never was your fault, nor was it mine, but it happened, therefore making everything fail. Even after all that, I don’t ever wish that we never met, would it have made both of our lives easier, yes? Certainly; but, knowing you taught me so much, that I probably never would’ve experienced, if not meeting you. I wouldn’t be the person I am if I had never met you. So for that, I’m grateful we managed to become best friends and did all that we did.
I originally was going to make a story of all the events and going through from the moment we met to the present day, but, really, do we need that story to be written? We both know the story quite clearly. A story with many happy times, and a few sad memories, but a story none-the-less, but, maybe one day I will continue it through. It after all was an astounding tale. Just for the moment, I think it’ll be one that’ll stay unwritten..
It’s not a good-bye and far from it, there is no time for a good-bye and no words really worthy of what we went through and the things that we learnt from one another. It was a beautiful friendship, and will always be one I couldn’t possibly forget in anyway shape or form, nor would I want to forget it. I loved you, and I still love you, and actually, honestly always will, I’m not scared to admit that, nor wanting to deny the fact that I do or will. I’m no longer scared to say it, or tell people. Ok, it might not be the same love as I spoke of only a few months ago, but I’m set free. Free in the sense, that I now know it was the wrong type of love, it wasn’t a good or healthy love. In fact, it actually made me miserable internally. It never was your intention, and most certainly never was your fault, nor was it mine, but it happened, therefore making everything fail. Even after all that, I don’t ever wish that we never met, would it have made both of our lives easier, yes? Certainly; but, knowing you taught me so much, that I probably never would’ve experienced, if not meeting you. I wouldn’t be the person I am if I had never met you. So for that, I’m grateful we managed to become best friends and did all that we did.
I originally was going to make a story of all the events and going through from the moment we met to the present day, but, really, do we need that story to be written? We both know the story quite clearly. A story with many happy times, and a few sad memories, but a story none-the-less, but, maybe one day I will continue it through. It after all was an astounding tale. Just for the moment, I think it’ll be one that’ll stay unwritten..
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
you talk
... of a future, of us, a life where it involves us being together. I can say, that its the best thought you could ever plant into my head. I like the stuff you talk..
before you've gone..
No matter how much time you have to think it over, it doesn’t seem to get easier.. I don’t think it will either.. There will be a time when I’ll try and forget it, but, it’ll still linger subconsciously in the back of my mind. I know I’ll have to get used to it, move along with it and manage it somehow, but I don’t know how to, at the moment, stand the thought of loosing you. Knowing in 12 months from now, I won’t see your face for 4 months. It’s an unbearable thought, and strangely, I’m missing you before you’ve left.
How will I cope? How will I manage to get on with the bores of everyday life? Ok, I’ll get a phone call and messages from you, but, it really won’t be the same. I won’t get to touch your skin, laugh with you and watch you pull the cutest of faces or be able to get close to you, feel your breath, feel your lips on mine. I will miss it all too much, but I know you have to leave. I know you must do your duty. Doesn’t mean I like it though, doesn’t mean you like it either, neither of us do, but it’ll put our love to the test, I suppose if nothing else. I’ll only loose you to have you back again, and that time, forever more. I know you won't 'leave' me in that sense, but physically leave me alone for what will feel like an eternity. The only thing that’s helping me at the moment is the knowing you’ll be off work for a month and therefore I’ll get to see you for the majority of that time off but.. I just don’t want to you go. I know I sound selfish, probably, but, I don't like having to wait when it comes to you, I don't like waiting to see you, or hear from you. I already know what it'll be like once you go, everything will become a blur.. although everything else will continue and so will my life, because time doesn't stop for anyone, not even for me and you, we both know that as time whizzes past us. Nothing will make sense, apart from my love for you, that won't change over time, I promise.
I know it’s so far in the future, but I know it’ll come around like its tomorrow. All I can do, is wait for your return.. before you’ve gone.
How will I cope? How will I manage to get on with the bores of everyday life? Ok, I’ll get a phone call and messages from you, but, it really won’t be the same. I won’t get to touch your skin, laugh with you and watch you pull the cutest of faces or be able to get close to you, feel your breath, feel your lips on mine. I will miss it all too much, but I know you have to leave. I know you must do your duty. Doesn’t mean I like it though, doesn’t mean you like it either, neither of us do, but it’ll put our love to the test, I suppose if nothing else. I’ll only loose you to have you back again, and that time, forever more. I know you won't 'leave' me in that sense, but physically leave me alone for what will feel like an eternity. The only thing that’s helping me at the moment is the knowing you’ll be off work for a month and therefore I’ll get to see you for the majority of that time off but.. I just don’t want to you go. I know I sound selfish, probably, but, I don't like having to wait when it comes to you, I don't like waiting to see you, or hear from you. I already know what it'll be like once you go, everything will become a blur.. although everything else will continue and so will my life, because time doesn't stop for anyone, not even for me and you, we both know that as time whizzes past us. Nothing will make sense, apart from my love for you, that won't change over time, I promise.
I know it’s so far in the future, but I know it’ll come around like its tomorrow. All I can do, is wait for your return.. before you’ve gone.
Sunday, 14 February 2010
I love you
I miss you. I want to cry cos you're not with me. I miss you so much, it does, actually hurt. I know we laughed at this, but its actually the truth now. Sitting here, missing you. Needing you. Everything feels empty without you, literally, and I hardly know how to place myself. As you leave you leave your smell amongst my sheets, the memory of your arms around me and telling me that you love me.
I love you so much, that the world feels just perfect when you're laughing and being silly with me. I want us to be like this forever and ever.. I said I don't want anyone else, and it's true, no-one holds interest over me like you, i've fallen completely and utterly in love with you. You mean everything to me, and love the time we spend together, it's so natural. Looking into your amazing deep blue eyes and stroaking your face.. love the silly faces you make, and the animal expressions and how you go 'i've just thought of something random..', the way you look when you're thinking or concentrating on something, the sound of your giggle and how you look in my eyes and go 'what you thinking about?', how you quote programmes, how you randomly sing quietly in my ear.. how when we're holding hands and every nown and then you'll squeeze it a little harder and stroak my fingers as we're walking, how you completely igore the fact i'm trying to knick your glasses constantly, how when you yawn your arm shakes a tiny bit, how you talk about the future, how you talk about what you feel about me and other things.. how you know exactly how to guilt trip me, how you always text me saying you love and miss me, the smile you give when you first meet me, the grin you have when you can't lie, the patronising tone you take out on me sometimes, and sit there then giggling at me how i'm like 'omg!', the tight hug you give me just when i've just got into bed, how when i'm cold you try warming me up, how you look at me, and know what i'm about to say, how we're so alike, how we both know one of us wants a kiss, the way you smile at me when we're cuddling, the silly games and pranks we pull on one another, the way you laugh when I say 'ya mum!', how you text me everyday saying you miss and love me and make me feel so special. You are my one, I love you so much.
Missing you, till I see you again, Christopher James Reynolds x
I love you so much, that the world feels just perfect when you're laughing and being silly with me. I want us to be like this forever and ever.. I said I don't want anyone else, and it's true, no-one holds interest over me like you, i've fallen completely and utterly in love with you. You mean everything to me, and love the time we spend together, it's so natural. Looking into your amazing deep blue eyes and stroaking your face.. love the silly faces you make, and the animal expressions and how you go 'i've just thought of something random..', the way you look when you're thinking or concentrating on something, the sound of your giggle and how you look in my eyes and go 'what you thinking about?', how you quote programmes, how you randomly sing quietly in my ear.. how when we're holding hands and every nown and then you'll squeeze it a little harder and stroak my fingers as we're walking, how you completely igore the fact i'm trying to knick your glasses constantly, how when you yawn your arm shakes a tiny bit, how you talk about the future, how you talk about what you feel about me and other things.. how you know exactly how to guilt trip me, how you always text me saying you love and miss me, the smile you give when you first meet me, the grin you have when you can't lie, the patronising tone you take out on me sometimes, and sit there then giggling at me how i'm like 'omg!', the tight hug you give me just when i've just got into bed, how when i'm cold you try warming me up, how you look at me, and know what i'm about to say, how we're so alike, how we both know one of us wants a kiss, the way you smile at me when we're cuddling, the silly games and pranks we pull on one another, the way you laugh when I say 'ya mum!', how you text me everyday saying you miss and love me and make me feel so special. You are my one, I love you so much.
Missing you, till I see you again, Christopher James Reynolds x
Tuesday, 9 February 2010
It Fascinates Me..
I always find it funny, how people suddenly get stroppy with you, once you're so happy. It's like, when you're unhappy and miserable, people, especially friends are all 'cheer up' and 'you'll find someone and it'll all be ok' so on.. but at the time you need your friends, you rely on them, and call on them for help. Surely we all do that? Needing your friends when you're unhappy, right? So.. do you still need them when you're happy? Ok, I'm not saying that in a 'never talk to you until it all goes crap again!..' of course not. But, your friends are meant to be there all the time. So, why the second you, find someone.. and this is after months of them telling you to brighten up.. are they the first ones to get in a mood with you? They, surely, are meant to be your friends..? And love you, and are there for you, through the highs and lows of your life, yeah? So, why do they suddenly say things like 'you don't even care anymore' or 'everything's about him now' - when, it really isn't the fact at all. Friends mean alot, and they always will. It's ridiculous to suddenly think I wouldn't love or care about them anymore.. just, I have someone else also in my life, it's called having to share someone, it's not like i don't talk to you anymore, or anyone besides him anymore is it? Why can't you just let me be happy? I'm happy. If you were a friend you wouldn't try and ruin it. I'm sorry, it sounds bitchy. But i've kinda had enough.
What also annoys me, is that people said I shouldn't be a push over, and to stand up to people.. and be firm and do what makes me happy, instead of trying to please other people! Yet.. you're being funny with me for doing what makes me happy?.. ok, someone needs to sort themselves out. Then, come to me when you've decided exactly how you want me, yeah?
What also annoys me, is that people said I shouldn't be a push over, and to stand up to people.. and be firm and do what makes me happy, instead of trying to please other people! Yet.. you're being funny with me for doing what makes me happy?.. ok, someone needs to sort themselves out. Then, come to me when you've decided exactly how you want me, yeah?
I would've..
If anyone had told me that i'd find someone so perfect as you, only two months ago - I would've laughed only too hard in their face.
Not to be unkind, but simply 'cos I wouldn't believe them, or believe I deserved such a gift.
Not to be unkind, but simply 'cos I wouldn't believe them, or believe I deserved such a gift.
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