Horrors of the Heart..

The heart is such a familiar function. Yet possibly one of the hardest parts of your life to translate. It's simply impossible to really clarify anything that may be felt. Looking at someone and everything changes in that instance is something you never quite get your head around.
Going to meet someone, everything suddenly goes nerve-racking. My breathing gets out of sync, my head goes foggy, why do I suddenly feel like this? Mostly to the question, why me? I carry myself, trying to shake the feeling off - unsure why it's there in the first place, and then it all comes clear. A simple smile or guesture and it all goes away. The last hour seems just silly now, I smile to myself thinking 'Why am I being like this?'. Everything feels right now. Exactly like it always should've been, no amount of time makes it awkward, between us. We'd be just like this even if we had just seen one another only yesterday. Talk, Talk and more Talk.
While the conversation flows, I realise just how much I want to talk to him, how much i've missed just having a simple conversation, laughing at the facial expressions and smiling knowing everything is secretly perfectly fine. It's only our insecurities that hold us back, the doubt, that we won't be, but we always are - so why continue the doubt? It's as if i've never actually met him before, he looks different yet familiar everytime we come in contact. His hair a little longer, seems to feel as if he's taller. Yet everything is the same, his face, voice, smile, body - everything is always just the same. Familiar. It's reassuring knowing that something so special doesn't ever really change, not completely. They will always be the same as you know and remember them.
So really, it shows no matter how long you go without seeing one another, that the feelings don't ever really go (if they are real) and that without them near, you do really actually appreciate who you have in your life and hold on for dear life. I've noticed, talking about the small things helps the big picture and that, the fuzzy feeling you have, will always remain.
The heart is a place people get scared of. Coming incontact with what they actually feel, it's natural and we all feel it from time to time. Just in the time apart don't loose yourself and store up your love to give to the next available time. I don't want to loose the nervy feeling anymore, it's part of who I am and what I get knowing i'm seeing you. It's the reality. Knowing i'm definately realising and looking forward to see you. I miss you, and love you. Walking there is one of the nicest feelings, as I know i'll once more see my best friend again.